Reviewing Big Boa got me on to a big Joe-Kick this week which was only further fueled by the G.I. Joe Club’s JoeCon 2014 / 50th Anniversary Announcements. While I’m a still a RAH fan first and foremost, which is on its… 32nd Anniversary next year, I’m excited to see G.I. Joe turn the Big Five-O. Heck it’s a big milestone for action figures overall if you think about it.
One of the things I’m most excited about out of the Club Announcement’s is a modern update to the Joe Colton figure (this one I hope!). I loved that toy as a kid and if I had a big Joe want list his name would be near the top. That got me thinking. Hasbro has been quickly (& slowly) churning out classic RAH Updates on over the last seven years with the Club picking up the torch of late. Many of my wants have been fulfilled, but who was left? I smelled a Top Ten coming on…
Er, well, a Top Fifteen. It turns out I couldn’t narrow it down as much as I thought. I did limit the list in two key ways – no figures that were released, but desperately need a redo (I’m looking at you Gung Ho & Serpentor) & no figures that did come out, but I missed. Most notably were those two cool Cobra Island 7pks. They were chock full of goodness, but I just didn’t have any money to spare at the time. Also, Con Souvenir Exclusives like Darklon & Annihilator couldn’t be included either. We’re relying on the Club to get some of these done and, really, the Club already did those guys. They’re not coming back. So I kept my list to guys that still need an updated figure, and I also ended up sticking with characters that previously had a figure it seems. Though that wasn’t on purpose.
I will also say that this list is in no way meant to be the be-all, end-all Top Ten Joes that still need an update. G.I. Joe is quite possibly worse than MOTUC & DCUC in terms of eras and favorites. There are tons and tons of Joes and I know we could all come up with 30-40 we want that haven’t been made if we were asked to. (In fact, I’d love to hear your lists in the comments section). This is my list and, as you’ll see, I’m clearly crazy.
Alright, with that disclaimer out of the way, let’s get to my Top Fifteen!
| Noisy No. 15 – More Adventure Team! | Noisy No. 14 – Colonel Courage! | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 |
This one would be higher, but I think it’s a big pipe dream at this point. I don’t think the Club’s AT sets sold well enough to warrant more. The necks could’ve been better, but I loved the sets I picked up and I’d love to have more! The Adventurer, The Astronaut, Man of Action, Mike Powers, Bulletman. Not to mention 4″ versions of some of the Club’s AT creations. I’d buy ’em all up. | Colonel Courage makes my list because I’d like to see more of the Battle Corps guys receive some love. Colonel Courage was a stand-out to me because he sorta crossed the divide between classic muted color Joes and the crazy neon era. He appears normal in the pic to the right, but the figure ended up with neon green gear. (And, yes, any update should stick with the neon green!) |  |
| Noisy No. 13 – Space Shot! | Noisy No. 12 – Super Trooper! | ||
 |
I love space Joes. I already mentioned the Adventure Team Astronaut and other Astronauts will make the list (The Astro-Viper is in the Top 20!) too, but I wanted to give a special shout out to my buddy Space Shot! I love him mostly because he’s badass enough to take grenades into space and he’s so tough he doesn’t even need a faceshield on his space helmet. | I’m known for always being a sucker for Vac-Metal, so it’s a no-brainer that the Super Trooper would make the list for me, but would it you surprise you to know I never had this guy? I had so many of the mail-ins, I’m not sure how I missed out on a Chromed Trooper! The upside here is any new tooling can be split between him and the odd pastel/neon Rapid Fire! |  |
| Noisy No. 11 – T.A.R.G.A.T.! | Noisy No. 10 – Sneak Peek! | ||
 |
Imagine the guts this guy has to have. T.A.R.G.A.T. is basically a guy with a ballistic missile strapped to his back! This guy’s job is to be rocketed into low orbit super-fast, just so he can come down and strike just about anywhere in the world quickly. Think about it, this guy has to be rocketed into space and come back to earth thousands of miles away just to get to work. | I like Sneak Peek. I said it. Sneak Peek is an everyman Joe. We can’t all be Flint or Snake Eyes, but look at Sneak Peek here. We could all be him, carrying around our giant personal periscope and looking a little more rotund than some of the other Joes. Truth is though, we can’t all be Sneak Peek because Stephen King’s son, Owen King, is the real Sneak Peek! |  |
Continue to Page 2 for the Top Nine Top Nine!
Just for fun, here are some figures that didn’t make the cut, but lasted long enough to get images for the article:
Poor Long Range doesn’t seem to appear in the classic art work. Sad day.
um, any list that doesn’t put golobulus directly in the number one spot is barely worth dignifying with a response. cobra-la was dumb… but golobulus? 8 buckets of awes-chum used to summon a shaolin megaladon mermaid with twin bazookas and liquid pizza bobs!
Um, dayraven, I think I love you.
For real, Cobra-La is lacking some serious ME representation. I want it, I want it all: Gobble-gobble-Golobulus, PYTHONA!, Royal Guards, Cobra-La scientists, pilots, pods, spores, all of it! And I want it all wrapped up in a bow with a new Falcon, Sunbow Serpentor, Big Lob and cartoon-accurate Chuckles and Jinx. Yeah, baby.
I hated Cobra La and thought it was pathetic compared to the comics but as I right this I can’t help but think some of them would be awesome figures, Golobulus and Pythona especially.
I am going to give Noisy massive, massive props for listing the GI Nurse. I used to have her. We bought her at Marshall Fields in Chicago and she shared many adventures with my Joes. My only frustration was I couldn’t find clothes to fit her! If she had only come with some fatigues to go with the nurse dress! Ultimately I found she could comfortably wear the ‘Action Boy’ leotard and boots from Ideal’s Captain Action line and that seemed somehow correct for the Adventure Team years.
GI Nurse mysteriously vanished during a move. It makes me very sad.
ahem. And yes to 3 3/4 Adventure Team. I think whatever failure the previous con exclusive met would have been due to us old schoolers not wanting the AT IP diluted with the ‘shrink down’ when we don’t get nearly enough love in the 11 3/4 scale as it is, combined with the bad, evil memories of ‘Super Joe’. Brrrr.
Were Hasbro to do a line of 3 3/4 inch Adventure Team, I would say they would need to fully commit to it. Full throttle. Figures and Vehicles. And throw new tooling into the mix. Plenty of classic RAH vehicles would work as repurposed AT stuff, but why not an actual classic ATV in RAH scale?
I must be unique among Joe collectors; my favorites from the original lines were usually masked individuals with either a ninja, commando, or not-too-ridiculous sci-fi look. More often than not, they were Cobras. Cobra just seemed to have way more cool looking characters to me that Joe.
For instance, my favorite name figures were Firefly, Shockwave, Star Viper, v2 Snake Eyes, Battle Armor Cobra Commander, and v2 Storm Shadow; my favorite troopers were Techno-Vipers, Alley Vipers, Astro Vipers, TARGATs, Toxo Vipers, Hydro Vipers, Iron Grenadiers, Crimson Guards, BATs, and Vipers.
However, it seems like everywhere I look the majority of Joe fans are obsessed with Grunt and the OG 13, Adventure Team, or guys like Gung Ho, Leatherneck, Footloose–well, any guy with a mustache it seems. Then there seems to be a sizable minority who gravitate to the most absurd and ostentatious figures, like Eco Warriors and Battle Force.
Part of the lack of appeal of these characters for me was probably due to the fact that I played with the toys more than watched the show or read the comics. However, no matter the stories, a guy in a cool red dome, like Star Viper is always going to seem cooler to me than a cajun with no shirt, wearing a jean vest.
Still, I have come to appreciate all of these different types of characters more as an adult, but even still my most wants list is around those cooler, masked characters.
So, my top 15 would be:
1 The Fridge (hey, I’m a Chicagoan)
2 Star Viper
3 Astro Viper
4 v1 Toxo Viper (hoping these are the ones in the con set, but guessing they’re v2)
5 v2 Storm Shadow
6 a new Shockwave (25th Ann is DATED)
7 Metal Head (ok, one dude with a mustache)
8 Head Man (make that two)
9 Hydro Viper
10 TARGAT
11 Dee Jay (my weird personal choice)
12 Munitia
13 Rocky Balboa
14 Super Trooper
15 v5 Ninja Force Snake Eyes
Could not agree more about Gung Ho. I never had “regular” Gung Ho, so the shirtless version just never clicked with me. A proper Gung Ho would be my #1.
Yeah, some of those are cool, but with all the ridiculous palaver they’ve been pulling with their figures (Classic-style Jinx being SDCC exclusive, other key characters being sub-only), G.I. Joe has pretty much lost me.
The two things that would get me back?
A BBTS Cobra-La 7-Pack, containing:
Golobulus w/ bio-rifle, opening hover-shell and bendy-posable tail
Pythona w/ removable fabric robe and bio-ninja arsenal
Nemesis Enforcer (or Immortal, or whatever they’re calling him) w/ mutation spore pod
4 x Cobra-La Royal Guards, w/ ax-clubs, pistols, comm-antennae, & removable capes
A proper Night Raven SP3 re-release. Not that movie version. The original and best.
That’s pretty much all that would get me to buy another G.I. Joe item. Mind you, a re-release of the STUN and/or Thunder Machine would be pretty tempting, too . . . .
I gotta throw in with the La chants. Definitely need Golobulus and the Guards, plus NE’s original 25th figure sucked.
Beyond that, I don’t have many “non-redo” figures I want. I want stuff like RAH colored versions of Law & Order, Spearhead & Max, Muskrat, etc. Or proper versions of halfass attempts like Wet-Suit. Or any and every “ultimate style” figure from the concept vault they come up with.
The main takeaway from this article is that it reveals how deep they’ve already gone on the original RAH roster, pretty dang impressive!
Still, compared to the original Nemesis Enforcer figure, the update is miles better.
Here’s my list, I’m more of a Transformers fan, but started collection JOES during their 25th anniversary line.
1) Fast Draw
2) Rocky Balboa
3) The Fridge
4) Sneak Peek
5) Crystal Ball
6) Raptor
7) Pythona
8) HEAT Viper
9) Laser Viper
10) Overlord
11) Incinerators
12) Overkill (BAT Leader)
13) Night Creeper Leader
14) Crimson Guard Immortals
15) General Flagg
Frostbite would have made the list but I’m sure the Club will make him eventually.
Oh, BTW, it’s Mike Power, Atomic Man. No ‘S’. It’s a common mistake perpetuated even in many ‘collector’ books, but a simple look at the package (or advertising) shows the truth. No ‘S’.
Hasbro had a ‘thing’ with the name Mike. My Adventure Team Membership Certificate says one Mike Triumph is the Commander of the AT.
Yes I still have my certificate. Framed and mounted on my wall. Is that weird? 🙂
Anything from the Concept Case Ultimates (Flint, Lady Jaye, Gung-Ho, ’83 card art Destro) would rock for me. Anyone from the first ten years who hasn’t been redone. And better distribution for army builders! I have yet to score a Retaliation Night Viper at less than scalper prices.
I do like your list, Noisy. Some stuff in there is well worth revisiting.
The Adventure Team has begun to grow on me thanks to the club magazine comic strip. Colonel Courage and most of the Battle Corps guys would be cool. I just won Space Shot off eBay yesterday and he does look awesome. I’m a sucker for Vac-Metal as well and I love the Super Trooper I got a few years back. I would get T.A.R.G.A.T. if he came with a removable helmet. Same deal with Sneak Peek: He had a moving death and surprising resurrection in the Hama comics, so I’d say that he’s long redeemed himself and moved beyond the whole King family connection. H.E.A.T. Viper might work. Overlord definitely would. G.I. Nurse? Sure, why not? Rocky Balboa is okay, but since we got Bruce Willis this year, I say it’s high time we also had Arnold Schwarzenegger join the Joes! Who’s with me? Gung-Ho in Dress Blues would also work as an army builder if you think about it. You have my vote for a proper Leatherneck even if it’s the convention set body with a new head. Frostbite is a must in order to complete Team ’85, especially since Iceberg has been made and the Snow Cat mold is still available for use. And Payload? I never had any of his versions, but it’s gotta be an update of the first two all the way! As for the 30th Anniversary Joes, there’s no better time than next year to redo those guys.
Some of your honorable mentions are actually favorites of mine: Backblast, Fast Draw, Captain Grid-Iron, and the original Long Range would all be guaranteed buys for me.
If I had my say in the matter, though, I’d simply relaunch the RAH line from 1982 onward in a new style which combined o-ring construction with the sturdier plastic (no more broken crotches) and detailed sculpting that G.I. Joe is still known for, minus recent changes such as the web gear and awkward ab joint. Kind of an amalgam between the vintage and modern figures, borrowing the best aspects from each era.
Sneak Peek, TARGAT, Frostbite, Payload, definitely. Overlord was cool, imo.
like I said in the Big Boa review, I’ve passed on a LOT of them the last few years because they look so fragile, even compared to fellow Hasbro licenses, MU and SW. For instance, you point out that Sneak Peek looks a bit chubby, and Crankcase was, as well, but his re-issue was lean. can’t picture if the modern Bazooka was heavy, too?
(hell, my best friend has kept gaining since he got back from Iraq in 05 and they still keep him on!)
but seriously, when Roadblock is same height as the ladies, you might have a slight sculpting problem. I’m not saying Marvin needs to be same height as 5″ scale figures (DW), but the classic ARAH line had a bit more realistic variety to their body types.
My list would be more of vehicles and bases.
10. VvV Cobra Mountain – mostly because I’m still kicking myself for passing that up!
9. Destro’s flying pod – not only is it an attack plane, it doubles as a science experiment tank! Hello, Serpentor Birthing Matrix!
8. classic HISS – was this re-done for the TF/Joes?
7. Destro’s tank thingy – one of the later vehicles and it quickly became one of my favorites.
6. Joe’s original HQ – another base I missed out on.
5. APC – just for nostalgia purposes, but they did do the more modern Rhino, so…?
4. Joe mobile base(?) – oil rig thingy that got a “toxic” redeco for the Eco-squad.
3. Mobile Command Carrier – sure, I know they re-released it a few years back, but I thought I still had most of mine left. I now realize it’s barely half intact. sigh….
2. Defiant/Crusader – I had the Crusader/Avenger re-issue, but the Defiant was something I saw *ONCE* in a closing Children’s Palace and didn’t have the extra money for that week. I settled for the Crusader later, but always wanted the Defiant/launch base.
1. Terror. Drome. – nuff said. (bonus Joe *and* Cobra colors variants???)
I don’t know if they’ll ever see the light of day on our shelves, but the H.E.A.T. Viper and Laser Viper have at least been designed and have prototypes. They’ve been shown in Hasbro’s concept display case since last year.
Sneak Peek!
Boy good lists both of you. I had a HEAT Viper and yes love to see a new one. Every fig in Cobra Island sets dwserves an upgrade to me. (Also miss that site and its old arcade) Dress blues Gung Ho was a fig I liked alot. That needs an update badly and would 2nd some military dress uniform looks for others.
Cobra-La as a Unicron worshipping cult sound corny or cool and they have Bludgeon working with them.
If I did a list I wouldn’t know where to begin since sold off old joes and dunno who I put in my list.
I would love to see Hardball, Super Trooper, Raptor (yeah, I said Raptor!), Crystal Ball, Mercer v.2 (with the chainmail and the beard), Cobra-La, a new Cutter (Cutter gas a ball cap, dammit!), and STUN viper. Also, in a perfect world, there would be a line of Joes based on The Expendables